No More Honesty

I had been honest before.
It didn’t work,
Even though I was asked
To speak freely.

I learned, well.

Now I am silent.
I speak only words
That are acceptable,
That won’t attract questions.
I smile when I need to,
Sometimes I even sing.

Faking happy.

With my silence.
My silent cries,
My silent prayers,
My silent wishes.

My silent anger,
My silent frustration.

I don’t say love,
Because I don’t know love.
It isn’t there.
I lied.

Now I am silent.
I will never say
Those words
To you
Again.

Not until I am sure
They are true.

I’m sorry I was honest.

I probably should have known
That you didn’t honestly
Want me to be.

Well now I am silent.
You won’t hear
Anything else
From me.

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