Why I Haven’t Been Blogging Much Lately

I don’t know if it was noticeable or not (maybe nothing really changed and my mind is messed up) but I haven’t been doing much blogging lately. I’ve just put up some stuff so as to not make it seem that I’ve completely abandoned my blog.

There are reasons for this.

Firstly, most of my blogging is usually done at work. At work, I used to have a lot of free time, and it so happened that most of that time was spent sitting in front of a computer. Therefore, I used to blog and write poetry like there was tomorrow, until it was time for me to go home. Things change however, and change they have. Recently, the staff at the library (where I work) have decided that library assistants (that’s me) are no longer going to spending almost all their time at work sitting down doing nothing. Darn it. Now we all have tasks to occupy our work time and apparently the entire library is going to be reformed, I think. Because of this, I no longer have time to sit and blog or write poetry. Poetry pretty much took a back seat after NaPoWriMo anyway. I’m not trying to write it anymore. I’m back to my old way of just letting it come to me or writing when I need emotional release. No more one-a-day.

The second reason for my slump in posting is that I’m lazy. Always have been. While I don’t have time to blog at work, I certainly have time at home since I’m not currently a student and I only have this one part-time job. I have time, trust me. The thing is I spend that time sleeping and watching drama episodes. When necessary, I go to the bathroom or eat, but that’s about it. Oh and there’s cooking and laundry and occasional cleaning that I can’t seem to avoid. I have been writing then. I’ve written several poems. I’ve also thought of putting them up, but I haven’t because I’m too lazy to go to my blog and type them out. I haven’t even written them in my book where I put all my finished poems. They’re all scattered throughout my journal in between my journal entries. I’m just not in the mood.

So there. I’m not dead. Nor am I sick. I’m just lazy, and really immersed in the world of Korean dramas. Oh and can you guess where I am right now? Yup. Work. When I get home I’m going be watching a drama episode; either Angel Eyes or Can You hear My Heart because for some reason episode six of Roommate still isn’t available with English subtitles yet (I just checked). I really don’t know why this is happening to me.

 

I’ve lost myself
In desperate seas
And pensive woods.
Wandering
With closed eyes
And arms outstretched.
Barefooted,
Climbing rocks,
Stealing away
From the hearts around me,
Carefully covering mine.

Words unsaid
Pierce my chest
And shock me
With pains
Ever so slightly,
No herald to announce arrival.
I bleed,
And breathe,
In between
Bouts of fever
And cold sweat,
Glad my mother can’t see me like this.

The wind is cool,
Tonight.
It almost pushed me over yesterday.
How many other things
In this world
Are that volatile?

Just Because

Just because I smiled at him,
And he smiled back at me.

Just because he asked to meet,
And I agreed.

Just because I laughed.
He really was funny.

Just because he met my mom
And called her mummy.

Just because he asked me to marry
And I said yes.

Just because my dad liked him
And thought he was the best.

Just because we had two children,
Like married people do.

Just because I wasn’t the only one
Hearing I love you.

Just because I was tired
Of covering up my bruises.

Just because I didn’t want to hear
Any more excuses.

Just because I had two children
Didn’t mean that I would stay.

Just because he was my first love
Didn’t mean he should take my life away.