No. I don’t want to take your advice. I don’t want to make a life decision based on something you said, or wrote down on beautiful, brown-stained paper with artistic lines crawling all over its digital surface.
I don’t want to take your typewritten words to heart and doubt my relationship – the one you know nothing about, the one you say isn’t good enough, the one you say I’m settling for. I don’t want to think that he is a great person, because sometimes you decide to tell me that he is, that I should be grateful for him and not cast him aside because of whatever “better” I think is waiting for me around the corner. I don’t want to worry about how well we suit each other because on a particular day you point out one of his flaws – one that I already know about – and use that as reason enough for him not to be good enough. For me. Me, who can’t do half of what he can, who has no interest in even learning, and who is amazed that he can do so much, being only one person. Me, who sometimes is the one not good enough to be with (I already know that – thank you very much) because I’m not sure where we’re going (though I still want to go there).
No. I’m not a Jamaican based on the many items that are on your several lists. I am a Jamaican because I was born there and I lived there for the first seventeen years of my life without ever setting foot on foreign soil of any kind. I don’t stop being a “real Jamaican” because I don’t know that one word or that one fruit or because I’ve never had those two meals, or because I don’t know how to cook them! I also say my alphabet properly. And I don’t put the letter “h” where it doesn’t belong. I can be a Jamaican and know how to speak proper English at the same time. I am also very versed in my dialect and will not speak English because I am told to so, because I’ve been in America long enough now, or because you think I “talk bad” which is not even proper English to begin with.
This was supposed to be a rant in opposition to those wonderful memes that appear frequently on my Facebook newsfeed, but I guess I veered off there and included people who like to tell me how to be who I am.
The point is I hate seeing those things and I hate that I pay so much attention to them and who the hell wrote all those things anyway? Who the hell are they to tell me whom I should be with and whom and I shouldn’t settle for and how a “real Jamaican” speaks and how I should live my life?
And will everyone SHUT UP about who is having children and how you’re not? It’s none of your business! And I don’t care. If you don’t like it, then leave it alone. No one asked you. Don’t like the pictures, don’t comment, just keep scrolling – the way I do – or admire the baby for two seconds. Don’t share another one of those stupid memes or make a post of your own talking about it. It’s really annoying.
(Of course this is totally going to the wrong audience, so the people who are doing this and who I want to stop won’t see this post, but I’ve been wanting to say something about this for a while. It’s really been bothering me. A lot of things have been bothering me.)
I will now abruptly end here.