Paradox

I am bursting at the seams
With dreams and pain,
With anger, frustration and
Gratefulness.
I think of heaven with disdain
And awe.
I pray to God
And I renounce him.
I make plans for my future
While seeing nothing there.
I walk away from my past,
Backwards.
I sing on top of hills and mountain tops;
The ones I created from my hurt.
I am dying and being born again,
Rising up
From out of my abyss.
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