I kind of am “too busy”.

A friend of mine wrote a post on Facebook today against the argument people make of being “too busy” as a reason, or an excuse, for not contacting others. To her defence, she said that she used to go to school and work two jobs at the same time, going off of 5-6 hours of sleep each night, yet she still kept in touch with people; she still called them and asked how they were doing. Since she was able to do this, she says, she does not accept when someone else says that he or she was “too busy” to call or check in. Apparently, if someone is interested in you, or is thinking about you, then the person will make the time to contact you and find out how you are. 

This affected me in a negative way because I am one of those who use the “too busy” excuse. Actually, I don’t say I’m busy. I say I’m tired. When I say I’m tired, I list the responsibilities I have to illustrate that I really am tired. Sometimes I get four hours of sleep at night. Sometimes three. Sometimes seven or eight. Regardless of this, I still have a lot trouble staying awake at school. I have trouble staying awake to finish homework. When school is in session I spend most of my time just trying to stay awake. I also live in my head most of the time so it doesn’t occur to me to reach out to other people. There’s also the part of me that has no liking for small talk. I cannot, for the life of me, see the meaning behind calling someone “just to say hi”. On several occasions my sister has asked if I can’t call her. She’s always the one calling she says. The thing is I haven’t had anything to say to her. I call when I have something to say. Even then, sometimes I forget. I don’t have a regular schedule and it’s usually really full, so I don’t remember a lot of the time that I actually want to tell someone something. When I do remember, it is usually at a time or place where I don’t have the opportunity to make contact. 

I feel bad sometimes, because the truth is sometimes I have someone on my mind for a long time. I have the intention of calling, but I get so caught up in work and school work and family duties that I really don’t have the time to call. When I do have free time, I use it to destress by watching a few episodes of a Korean drama. Sometimes the time disappears without me even noticing. 

I realise it may look bad that I don’t “stay in touch” with a lot of people, but, firstly, I don’t like awkward, and secondly, I really am “too busy”.

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