I’m having one of those moments where I feel like crap and I don’t know why and I want to cry but no tears are coming. I wish there was someone I could blame all of this on and I wish I could get rid of this feeling. I wish I didn’t need God or anything related to Him. He’s the main reason for my distress right now. He proved to be untrustworthy and is making me feel guilty and tormented for not believing Him. I wasn’t happy following Him, though I may have been doing it the wrong way. But I didn’t know that. Now that I’m trying to walk on my own He’s making me feel miserable. He’s God isn’t He? It’s His responsibility to preserve His character. It was His responsibility to protect the beings He created. Why is everything always on us? Why is it always our fault? I can’t love someone like that. Why am I being held personally responsible for the wrongdoings of someone else? Why am I being made to pay for that? That is wrong no matter how you look at it. You don’t get away with that just because You’re God. If I have to die because of this then so be it. You’ll still have Your angels telling You You’re just and holy. Good for You and good for them.