It’s nothing. Really.
I open a new webpage, put my tea down, and start typing.
I made the mistake of sleeping with the fan on me last night so I woke up this morning with cold at my throat. I coughed, spat, and I was fine. Then a while after I got to work I noticed that there was some discomfort at the back of my mouth when I swallowed. Ugh. It was terrible. A coworker suggested I buy some tea, but I didn’t really feel like it, so I bore the pain – if you could call it that – and kept on reading whatever article I was reading online. It felt like it as going away. I didn’t notice it as much, but that was just because I had somehow managed to swallow less. When I did swallow, it was there. Okay. That’s it. Go get the tea. Something warm will help. Just like she said. Okay, I’m going to get the tea.
I bought the tea. As I was about to add sugar, I decided against it. I remembered that I had some natural sugar in my lunch bag from a restaurant I had bought breakfast from a few weeks before. Okay. I walked back up to the library – because that’s where I work – and went to the back room, put my purse back, and opened my lunch bag to get the sugar out. While doing that I glanced at the side of my bag where a message from my friend was waiting on my phone. I felt like taking it out and complaining to him that my throat didn’t feel well. But that would be a waste. I didn’t have time for a conversation. I was just adding sugar and then going back out to the desk. I added the sugar, stirred, left the room, and my made my way up front.
It doesn’t make sense. And I know why. It doesn’t make any sense to get tangled up with someone when I’m so tangled by myself. This will not end well so it is best not to begin at all. Feelings aren’t everything. Circumstances matter.
And that’s how I ended up moving from worrying about God and my religion to remembering I was lonely and wanted a boyfriend.
My tea is done now, and the cup is in the trash bin. My throat feels a tad better, though my tongue is a bit scorched.