I don’t know what I lost exactly, but something went missing somewhere. The elder asked me if I loved Jesus, and I honestly told him I didn’t know. I had said it, but maybe I hadn’t meant it. Maybe I was just trying to convince myself. He started going on about some doctrines. I don’t remember much of what he said. Then he started telling me not to lose focus, and that I had been on the right track, “going good”. I just nodded and half-smiled the whole time waiting for him to be finished. I didn’t want this conversation. When he had to leave he said he wanted to pray. He did, and I cried.