Who taught us to lie? Where did we learn that we couldn’t be honest with our feelings? That we had to hide them in order to appear strong? Who taught us that we needed to be strong? If a man loves a woman why can he not tell her right away? Why does he have to walk around her? Why does he have to maintain a false image of strength and independence? Why does a woman have to do the same? When did we build our sheilds? Who made our armour?
The reason we, I worry, and cry, is that I misunderstand. I don’t know. The reason I don’t know is that I am not told. I have to be kept unaware of secrets that float over my head and feelings that concern me. The reason I worry and cry is that I have things on my chest that I cannot say because I know they will not be received well. I know that I will not be accepted, that my sanity will be questioned. I lie then, and I tell almost everyone who asks that I am fine, doing okay. They seem to believe, but I know they don’t care. That saddens me though, because I care when I ask. I guess I am in a one-sided love.
But who taught me to lie? Who taught me that I had to be okay?